My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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