Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We don't watch enough power rangers
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
