So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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