So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
