I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize