sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
