My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
