Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
