I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
