i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
