we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
