He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
