He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
