I never want to see another naked old woman again.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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