do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
