Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Sober January is a disaster.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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