Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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