My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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