You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
