names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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