he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
