No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
