took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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