Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
