he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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