Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
