she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
