Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
