no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
