she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
