So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
