I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Drake has all the answers
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
