Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
