You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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