he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
