True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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