I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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