this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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