I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize