Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You don't make any sense
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