Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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