You work out of a Hotel?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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