i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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