I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
