this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
