I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
