one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
