Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
