you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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