how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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