Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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