I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
