Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
