What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
