3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize