Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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