Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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