for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
