Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize