Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize