Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
